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Certain things that one wants to have do are reduced, diluted, removed without ire. And certain things that one doesn want to do are added, modified, adjusted without ire in a mutual understanding and with positive feelings. If that not happening in your monogamous relationship then a love check might be in order. It seems to me that to be the ideal desired me, me, me that one would have to have not fwb but fswb multiple friends with benefits while understanding that your fswb are also going to have other fswb, etcetera, etcetera.
My partner of years and I ate extremely comfortable with each other and love each other very deeply, and know we will always be there for each other. Our trust is very secure. That why we are both happy for the other to do whatever makes them happy. I have a few fwb in the side of my relationship due to my libido being extremely high and having feelings for the same gender as well as the opposite.
I need to explore and learn and be in touch with my body. Because my partner is my first ever relationship I never had a chance to be with others and explore my body so to me fwb is a necessary. Fwb sucks big time for women. I keep asking myself, wtf was I getting out of it.
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